1. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
2. Your bookmark list takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.
3. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.
4. You start introducing yourself as “Jim at net dot com.”
5. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address on TV.
6. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
7. All of your friends have an @ in their names.
8. Your dog has its own home page.
9. You can’t call your mother … She doesn’t have a modem.
10. Your phone bill is as heavy as a brick.
11. You don’t know the sex of three of your closest friends because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
12. Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.
13. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
14. Your wife makes a new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”
15. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
16. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage … so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
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