You are an internet addict when…

1. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

2. Your bookmark list takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.

3. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.

4. You start introducing yourself as “Jim at net dot com.”

5. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address on TV.

6. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

7. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

8. Your dog has its own home page.

9. You can’t call your mother … She doesn’t have a modem.

10. Your phone bill is as heavy as a brick.

11. You don’t know the sex of three of your closest friends because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

12. Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.

13. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

14. Your wife makes a new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”

15. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

16. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage … so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

This is why I wanna work in IT…

1. I have already enjoyed my life in childhood
2. I love tension
3. I don’t want to spend time with my friends
4. I love night outs
5. I love to work on Sundays and Holidays
6. I want to take revenge on myself (Perfect Reason)
7. I don’t want to marry before 30
8. I don’t want good Salary(optional)
9. I want to learn until my death

WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE…

NICK NAMES
* If Rita, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Rita, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Dan will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
* The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Side Effects of Alcohol and its cures

BEWARE of these side effects & Take necessary care!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink On your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You’re lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You’re looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You’re being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they’re taking you.

5. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You’re in an ambulance.
Cure: Don’t move. Let the professionals do their job.

.::selamat Hari Raya::.

.::Selamat Hari Raya::.

.::from my "cosca"::.